Funny Top Ten Lists - Signs of Decreasing Sex Appeal

Funny Top Ten Lists - Signs of Decreasing Sex Appeal
By Don G. Asmus

Are you dragging ear hair over your bald spot? Do airlines make you travel in the overhead compartment? Does your complexion resemble a pizza topping? If you got more than three of these questions wrong, our funny top ten lists may be just what the witch doctor ordered.

Top 10 signs you're not the same sex object.



+ The 16-year-old boy next door calls the cops to report you for sunbathing in the nude.

+ Your mother ransacks your Hope Chest and gives the entire contents to an older sister with impacted breasts.

+ Your priest suggests that you start using some form of birth control.

+ Naked photos of you surfaced during the Annual Campaign Against Dry Rot.

+ You can't figure out Victoria's Secret.

+ You run out of skin before you run out of cleavage.

+ Sperm banks mark your donations "Not to Be Taken Internally."

+ A pap smear is your most adventuresome form of sex.

+ You missed the cut at the Nuns Beauty Contest.

+ Your physician quietly disposes of your stem cells.

In case you're still wallowing in denial, here are a few additional clues that you might be losing a little of your animal magnetism:

Top 10 signs you're not keeping up with the Kardashians.

+ Your fiancée requests separate whoopee cushions.

+ A $5 Footlong is as close as you ever come to having sex.

+ Your magnifying mirror requests asylum in Betty White's bathroom.

+ You have a large mole on a front tooth... with a black hair in the center.

+ Your breasts are often mistaken for midriff bulge.

+ You're asked to appear in a pyorrhea commercial.

+ Following your arrest, the cops make you perform your own cavity search.

+ Your drug dealer switches you from coke to hemlock.

+ Sarah Palin asks you to serve as her sled dog.

+ A motorcycle gang draws lots to decide whether they should steal your car and rape you, or steal your car and run you over with it.

Copyright 2011. Funniest Top Ten Lists. All rights reserved.
Don G. Asmus is the List Master at Funniest Top Ten Lists, where he consistently creates the most hilarious top ten lists on the planet. http://www.FunniestTopTenLists.com/

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